Empty Days & Sleepless Nights

by Defeater

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Digital download of the album "Empty Days & Sleepless Nights" by DEFEATER. Features the 10 song "Empty Days" album and bonus acoustic 4 song "Sleepless Nights" EP.


released March 8, 2011


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Bridge Nine Records Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Warm Blood Rush
“Dear God, what have you done?”
Those words ring loud in the back of your head
That bottle lies in a thick, blood red

“I ain’t no forgiver, forgetter”
Our mother waits in vain for a God that never loved us.
As much as she prayed, he never showed up

“Dear God, where have you gone?”
Your brother is gone in the blink of an eye
That January night, our father lays cold
“Where’re you going to go? You’re only seventeen years old

“I ain’t no forgiver, forgetter”

Those cold steel tracks beneath your feet
Those same rail ties where you dodged those trains
When we were just two kids, oh, it still feels the same
That warm blood rush when the train comes

“I ain’t no forgiver, forgetter”
I will find you, put that vice to your head
Again, and again, and again, and again, and again”
Track Name: Dear Father
Buried him in the cold wet ground
Familiar faces would have made him proud
The military and the working man
The history of the life he lived

“Can you feel that soil covering your coffin?”

So, what are you gonna do? Be the hero that your father was
Be the man he made you to be
The war-torn stories that he told you
You've got a hell of a lot to live up to
An airborne man with a scar and a wound
“Never make a promise that you can't prove”
You are your father's son, dear father.
"Where are you? You coward."
Track Name: Waves Crash, Clouds Roll
As the waves crash, the clouds roll.
Sit on the dock waiting for the sun
Wait for the coward but he never comes
Pray for revenge on him
Steam rises as the boats come in, one by one

You know she is gone
and there’s no saving her
Her cheating, her weak will, the addiction, that needle

When you come home to find her lying on the floor
You’re reminded of those sleepless nights that will haunt you for the rest of your life
Blue collar shipyard, any way to keep her alive
Sun up to sun down, sun up to sun down
Blistered hands and a parched mouth.
Track Name: Empty Glass
The way she looked at you, tears streaming down her face
You felt the brush of her dress as she walked away
And that’s all that it took, sat down to buy her a drink
An empty or a half full glass, it all goes down the same
And that’s the way that it’s been
Years later she took your name
Hopeful and now unafraid
Your gut sinks each time you see her

Another night at the Copper Coin
Tell me about the old days
Another night at the Copper Coin
Put the sun into the sea.

Because there ain’t nothing like your smile, your legs and those eyes
And I will beg and steal and borrow to keep you safe your whole life
Track Name: No Kind of Home
“Where were you every night I woke up alone?”
Cold sweat keeps you up, “This ain’t no kind of home”
“Come pick me up”

“Damn those boys at the bar, damn the way that you drink”
Cold sweat, sleepless nights, when your hands start to shake
“Damn that pier where you sit, damn your vengeance for him
There’s no bringing him back, your father is buried and dead

But you can’t let go of that hero’s death
You’ve been left with, left with this debt
You couldn’t fight for your country
And your mother is an addict”

“How dare you?”
“This ain’t no kind of home”

“Damn that man that you humour
Only wants one thing from you
Damn those looks that you give him
Parlour tricks and I’m played for the fool”
Track Name: White Knuckles
You’re going to find him
And make him pay
Stumble out to the bar
“Take one more look at her
And it will be the end of your days
You low-life bookie
You don’t scare me

I ain’t settling no debt
I ain’t saving no face
One more drink then I’m gone
And then I’ll drag you out of this place”
Put it down for the courage
Your fists clench with the blood rush
White knuckles when the hit lands
Cold concrete and blurred vision

Stumble home from the bar

Stuttered steps home to your front door
On the tip of your tongue, your remorse
Shamed by the loss and defeat
Shamed by your let down to her
Same walk as that first night
Now alone, you know that this ain’t right
Better days and the promise you made
Ain’t no man supposed to walk out that way

Her ring lies in the thick red
Your tears swell, and the room spins
“Dear God, what have I done?”

You left her
And he took her
He laid with her
You bastard’s son

With the blackout
And the bloodstains
Your teeth clench
Then the pain comes
Track Name: Cemetery Walls
Climb those cemetery walls again
Leave these flowers at your headstone
Climb those cemetery walls again
Every night; can’t stand the sight of yourself

“Now that you’re gone, what am I to do?
But get lost in this bottle thinking of you”
You drink till you’re sick
“Trace the grooves in your stone”
Plot where you’ll bury him
The man that left you alone

You drink till you’re sick, feel the dew in the grass
As the sun’s coming up, watch a funeral pass

And you think to yourself, “That should have been me”
Two in the family plot, when you wish it were three.
Track Name: Quiet the Longing
You sit, and you stir
You grieve and you grieve
The same chair as your old man
Your mother’s worse than you think
Sunken eyes and a withering frame
The needle quiets the longing
That poison, it fills her veins

So quiet when the pain comes
Your mother’s rosary ain’t bringing father home
Blood rushes with cigarette burns
There ain’t no God coming to save her
So quiet as the clouds roll
Your mother’s rosary wrapped on the bed post
Blood rushes with cigarette burns
Sit on that dock every night until your head hurts

You sit, and you stir
You grieve and you grieve
The longer you sit at the ocean
You lose more time than you think
Your blood runs cold
Wind biting under your coat
Pull it tight to your chest
Your mother is praying for death
Much more than you know

“You coward, this is your fault
Our family has lost everything”

Look down at your hands and your lit cigarette
Put it to your lips and breathe it in
Everything starts to fade and your body is numb
And when you wake in the morning - you’re in the house all alone
Track Name: At Peace
He just sat at home with the bottle. His mother had turned into a skeleton of herself, no longer even able to get out of the house to fill up her arms; he had to make the runs for her. He didn’t mind anymore, he knew how she felt. Anything to take away the pain of losing someone. She would just sit with her rosary, rolling the beads in her tiny hands. Every time he left the house for his mother, or for another bottle, he would stand on that dock and watch the ocean like he used to. Scream out to no one for the coward to come home so he could make him pay. And every night he would start to fade with every hour that passed. He would smoke his last cigarette and find himself in the house in the morning not knowing how he got home. And one morning he woke to his mother and her rosary beads no longer hanging on the bedpost.

You’ve got to find her
Your mother ain’t fit to be alone

Her rosary beads are gone, only one place she’d be
The sun is nearly up, put your jacket back on
And walk down the street
Feel the wind start to shift, cold and biting
Just like everything that’s changed

When you do find her
Take the only family that you’ve got back to home

Head down, walk through the crowds, families downtown
Jealous bitter old man, just yourself you can’t stand
Man that took away your wife, coward left you behind
Kill them both if you could

Head down, cigarette in hand
Concrete, cold brick and sand
To the place where she prays, she suffers her days
Sleepless nights with the dirt when the addiction hurts
Up to that old white oak door church

And that’s where you find her in that last pew

You touch her cold hand
Your mother is gone
In front of her God, needle in her arm

Family plot will be filled
Perfect ending to a tragedy
Put her in cold wet ground
Finally at peace with her husband now

Lost all will
Hours strain, but months pass alone with your gun
Blue-collar shipyard, your days have gone
Lost it all for the promise of a normal life
All taken from you when you lost your wife
So you sit in that chair
Waiting for death
Barrel to your head
Track Name: White Oak Doors
Lost in your own head
But then a knock at the door
Put down that drink
Your steps creaking the floor
Go and get the gun
Distract yourself from death
Back against the door
Your hands are starting to sweat
Slowly cock the gun
Slowly move to the side
Slowly turn the handle
Slowly open it wide
Catch a glimpse of his face
Your heart sinks in your chest
Your hands start to shake
Because you know it’s him
Just the coward and you
Standing silent, dead air
So you pull him inside
Into your father’s chair
“Your mother is dead
All thanks to you
Her addiction got worse
After you left, you damned fool
What you did to our father
I promised you’d pay up
I’m going to take your life
It don’t feel like enough”
Cold steel to his head
Walk him to his death

Walk him down past the white oak doors
Walk him out past the boardwalk, your old shipyard
Pistol in his side, make him pay
On the outskirts of town, pass the quarry now
Walk him down to those cold steel tracks
You stumble drunk with the gun in his back

“Now get down on your knees
On the tracks where you shamed me
But this time, the dodge ain’t going to end so pretty
Either a bullet or that train
Steaming just ahead
Is going to end your days
You coward little kid”

You sit and you stir
While he waits for his death
You’ll never forgive him
And you never did forget
He’ll never see the sun again
Make him pay off his debt
Stand on those tracks, cold steel under feet
Barrel to his temple “Your addict mother, you will soon re-meet”
Whisper in his ear, feel his whole body shake
In an instant he’s got your arm, got your gun, held by his weight
You feel the cold steel above and below
Your stomach tie in knots as the train whistle blows
Feel the warm of the blood where the barrel digs in
From your cheek to your mouth, you taste the sweat and the tin
You don’t cry, you don’t beg
You’ve been waiting for this
For the coward, or for death
Just to see your wife again

That train is so close, so loud and so clear
Your hands stop shaking and it’s all that you hear
Just like father
“You took him
If this is how it’s going to be
I’d rather die at the hands of my own family”
Track Name: But Breathing
Unwanted, but breathing
In the next room, sleeping
My mother, she’s crying
And my father’s been drinking
In our run-down apartment
Where the roof is still leaking
He’s cursing and cussing
It’s just the whiskey talking

And I’ve got lots of memories like this one
Of empty days and nights spent tired and lonesome
When I think back… to all of it
It’s all too much
Oh it’s all too much when you’re just a little kid

My little brother, just a newborn baby
In the image of my mother, says he’s a blessing
But not to my father, oh how he hates him
“An undeserving mistake,” He calls him a burden

And I’ve got lots of memories like this one
Of picking sides and picking fights between them
When I think back… to all of it
Well, it’s all too much
Well, it’s all too much when you’re just a little kid

And when I wake up in the morning it all feels like a bad dream
One that follows you and haunts you endlessly
Yeah, haunts me endlessly

Well, broken and beaten from the abuse and the cheating
The addiction, and the lying and the promise of leaving
While my old man was a bastard, I admired and loved him
And us two kids, we were born in to a family, not a fortune, no
Track Name: Brothers
You need to get out of this house
I’ll walk you down to town
We’ll go act our age
Kick rocks, waste summer days
Penny candy at the general store
I’d buy us a pop if I had more
Keep walking inland all day
Spitting and cursing each other’s name

“Ain’t this what brothers are supposed to do?”
The blood between us, makes it all but true

So we roll on through
Out past the quarries, sandpits too
Swim out among the rocks and cliffs
Ignorant youth keeps us from death
Find our way out to the tracks
The sun, it beats down on our backs
Well, heaven help us if there’s a train
Dodge it like the beaches of Normandy

And we saw that smoke rising over trees
And I swore, I swore, I swore that train was out for me
So I held him tight and felt those tracks rumble underneath
He swore, he swore if I didn’t let go he would knock me off my feet
And that’s what he did
Track Name: I Don't Mind
Let's talk about the old days,
Let's talk about your friends,
Let's talk about the summer
And how you wish it wouldn't end.

Did I forget to tell you,
How pretty you looked in that dress?
In the first time that I saw you,
You cleaned the mess from my head.

And I don't mind,
If we take our time.
I don't mind.

Lets go walking on the boardwalk,
Dip our feet into the sea.
Lets find ourselves lost for hours,
Until we find ourselves a drink.

Lets talk that sun into setting,
Just need the sound of your voice.
Need that calming and the comfort,
Something to drown out the noise.

And I don't mind,
If we take our time,
'Cause I'm all yours
If you're all mine.

Something I've been meaning to tell you,
About three years and a day.
I'd very much like to get married,
Maybe have kids and move away,

'Cause there ain't nothing like your smile,
Your legs and those eyes.
I will beg and steal and borrow
To keep you safe your whole life.
Track Name: Headstone
Hello my dear
It’s so nice to see you here
How long has it been?
Oh it feels like years
But I’m sure it’s just been days

Been walking around alone
Drunk and missing you at home
You know I’ll never feel the same
Or ask another girl to take my name

Think I’ve been stopping by too much
Don’t want you to get sick of me
On my way home from the Copper Coin
It’s this or I jump into the sea

And I will never forgive myself for not being there to protect you
I should have been at home instead of out trying to forget you
Just one fight and I’m out the door
What kind of man am I?
I swore I’d never leave your side

Hello my dear
It’s so hard to see you here
How long has it been since we put you in the ground?
Oh it feels like days, but it’s been years
“Oh, and please don’t call me baby, it’s just too hard to hear
Too hard to hear
Leave you flowers at your headstone
Just sit and talk to you my dear”