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Prepare to Be Let Down

by Ruiner

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1.
2.
I gave up on metaphors and acts of sarcastic wit. Rewording phrases in an attempt, To grab the approval of faces I may never know. I've only met a few people that deserve this smile. Yes, I'm fucking ok and please don't ask me again. I can not stop dwelling on the fucking past. Disillusion, the only thing that keeps me warm at night
3.
aybe if I said something a bit more meaningless than possibly I could make my father proud of the things I’ve done. Throw blood, reckless, onto paper. You can’t expect me to take the same roads so many have crawled down before. I am fine with dying with regrets as long as I’ve never stopped making attempts at the sky and tearing down the stars. It never felt right to sit back-letting life pass me by. Saying I could have, would have but never fucking tried. I'll take my chances with the late nights, the bitter arguments. We’ll get by on the skin of our teeth I’ve never needed more I'll takes my chances with the harsh criticism and the failed relationships We’ll get by on the skin of our teeth I’ve never need more I have it all, I never needed more than a bag full of clothes and a fucked up van. Just give me 20 minutes to sweat out the feeling give me 20 minutes to run my self dead. This is my outlet, this is my mid life crisis. Though it started at 16 I don’t plan on seeing 30. I'll stays thankful for the hand outs, thankful for the chance
4.
And what the fuck do I know? But broken hearts, some unsung songs I never had it hard it enough So I drag my feet as much as I can The product of excuses Brave only compared to some I consider myself a lucky kid But I’m pretty good at fucking up Young, Angry and White A victim of the middle class So much to prove So much to say When will I be done screaming? Never take me seriously Cause who the fuck am I Just some awkward kid From a shitty town No different than any of you Quick with exaggeration Philosopher to some But a story teller to anyone Who, is truly listening I’m inspired by The fact that I Still get out of bed I’m over dramatic Most of the time Attention whore, Known to be ill tempered I got a way with fucking words
5.
And here where the suburbs are no better than the city. Where taking your own life is more than just an option. Some make you think that itТs easier to just turn walk away... I went running as fast as I can screaming into the streets. What the fuck happened to my closest friends? It's a type of arrogance that grows in you from being from here. Knowing so many look down on you for the sake Of the walls you traced your hand prints on. Who the fuck are they to judge? No credit giving to the ones breaking barriers, Redefining the appeal of chalk lines. Well I wonТt be ignored, I won't be confused Hear me The only fire I would ever start here Is so that you can never say you didn't notice us, You didn't notice us.
6.
So here’s your song and the words you asked for But I’m sure it’s not what you wanted. It’s not beautiful or gracious it’s a warning To anyone who has yet to meet you. Don’t tell me your sorry because I’m pretty sure I promised myself I would never ever again Believe a single thing you say. Seek your attention elsewhere Tell him how many times someone stepped on your heart. But he’ll have to take a fucking number, Because those eyes are an amazing thing. But who knows, on you what’s even fucking real. Go ahead say it tell him all how you were crushed. How perfect you can be but don’t forget to mention How far you can spread your legs. I’m sure that will get there fucking attention. Yeah I’m sure, yeah I’m sure you’ll get just what you need. Fuck, fuck, fuck. And we all know the things you've done No need to tell us because everyone fucking talks Oh yeah, Waste your tears on somebody else You’ll find acceptance on your back.
7.
6 months from the day I wrote any of these songs. They may mean as much as the changing of the tides. This reoccurring trend of hello and goodbye leads me to believe- That I know I’ve been here with you before. Yes I know I'll say some things that make you wish we hadn’t tried again. I’m tired of apologizing for that fucking flaw. I’m tired of saying I’m sorry for not holding on to long But I'll cut my losses before it’s too hard. I waste you’re fucking time. You don’t need me and I’m breaking fingers... Take my advice and walk away. I’m a loner Dottie, a fucking rebel.
8.
Repetition 01:15
It’s just as cold here as I left it and it’s the end of August. There’s no change at all anymore, Just faces and occasionally the tone of voice. I'll probably fall asleep on my couch again, Watching some Cusack movie. I’ve played the ghost here for far to fucking long. There is nothing appealing here just concrete and memories. Brick by brick are the walls I call home. Didn’t you know I’d rather be anywhere but here? In a few months it’ll start all over again. Again and again, I need to let go. Of every word I never said, of every promise remaining unfulfilled For what its worth this is who I am. Repetition is all I know.
9.
Choke on It 01:34
Respects given where it’s fucking due. And I'll tip my hat for what you have done. But that doesn’t mean I have to give a shit bout your opinions. You’ve never walked a step in my shoes. I’ll stick my foot in my mouth every chance that I get. I fumble with words, a little self conscience, Sometimes a tad bit awkward. I try do get my point across, ain't planning on changing minds. My life’s an open book, what about you? I’ll find out the hard way that I’m not always right Take the best shots from people who remain nameless. Not sorry for my intentions and I'll do what I fucking please Call me out, I don’t give a fuck- you’re not better than me
10.
Don't tell me you love me, just tell me you will not leave, cause tonight is one of those nights when I'm only interested in one fucking thing. I got a lot of dependency issues. And needless to say I hate to be alone. You may not be important to me tomorrow, but right now you're all that I fucking got. I won't mislead and I will not lie. You'll know my intentions before you walk through the door. I may speak with clever gestures, anything to make you feel at ease. Please don't say this is forever, I tend to forget what that word means. I'm more interested in the "right nows," just please promise you won't leave. I've made choices- that have got me nowhere but back where I started. This all may be a mistake, but what's a few more. I've been told that I have baggage... well I've lives, loved, fucked, and will die as young as I possibly can. But for right now I just can't be alone
11.
Sleepless 01:10
I could say almost anything right now I’m not too good with closed lips. I’m not too good with awkward silences And with a slip of my tongue... those nights turn to shit, this friendship could turn to shit. Thrown to the wind, every breath, every word, every action defined in a second of my thoughtless emotions Taking a chance with our time spent sitting and laughing about embellished stories, regaling each other with our most embarrassing moments. You’ll chain smoke the night away and I'll keep talking to the point that most would be annoyed but you never say shut your fucking mouth. I would give anything to say what I think right now. Ask me a question and I'll do my best to not lie but if I say what’s truly on my mind. You are the price I‘d pay.
12.
Eye to eye, I'll keep my composure Hands shaking and these fists will be tightly clenched I want it back, I’ll say for the first time. Every ounce of fucking air you’ve never appreciated If this is all that I am a series of choice words you’ll never hear this angelic voice again. I’m tired of talking in circles explaining what you don’t get; You’ve never lost, never loved, never ever fucking lived. You left me for dead once. How could I forget? Now I can see right through your hollow empty eyes, I will never again go unnoticed. Say this is jealousy that I’m feeling well then I’m fine with that. You have a certain characteristic that gives you the means to not feel a fucking thing for anyone that isn’t you. Now tell me you’re not fucking selfish. For every kind hearted word that I spoke to you. I beg I could take back every syllable you ripped from my mouth As I screamed for you to understand. What it feels like to not be as important to someone as they are to you. Well I’ve been on both ends and my lesson was learned. So I tell the stories of collapsed lungs So maybe the fortunate could get a fighting chance to just cut and fucking run. Fuck saying the right things- I’m sick of being your crutch. I will never pick you up again. Don’t show me that face, you know the one that I’m talking about. You will never get under my skin again. Not another word. Not sorry for shit... I’m leaving you breathless broken alive

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released June 19, 2007

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Bridge Nine Records Boston, Massachusetts

Started in 1995, Bridge Nine is a label that specializes in hardcore punk, with close to 300 recordings in our catalog. Check us out and keep an eye out for updates!

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