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Sleepwalkers

by Dead Swans

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1.
It's starting to pull me under, I can feel it beneath my feet. The last few months have passed so slowly and it's been so long since I've seen your smile. I'm afraid to ask what's wrong so I sit and stare frustrated digging my nails into my palms. I never wanted you to see me like that. Bloodshot eyes, bleeding fists, speechless love, a new year's wish. I never wanted you to see me reenact those days I threw away. Stuttered screams from a distant voice: I followed you all the way to your front door. No words could take the pain from your eyes like a knife through the heart. I'll be sleeping alone tonight; and when I wake you won't see me again, you won't have to worry about me anymore. I'm sorry for all the times I fucked up, I'm sorry for every time I let you down. You always said it was hard to talk and I guess it always was. But it still feels the same, I still feel the same. The only difference is you're not there. I brought this on myself: you're not there. When I need you the most, you're not there. And I can't stop thinking of you.
2.
Ascension 02:16
Expressions drop through deadly silence. I'm bruised and broken from a lonely start And now you say you care so much, But I know you can't see past yourself. I remember when we seemed so close But now you've changed and I know how this story ends. I never wanted your opinion. I never wanted you fucking help. Tender words with hidden meanings, Awkward silence, hardly breathing. These days are getting longer and I'm running out of time. Sometimes I question myself: is this everything? All alone at night inside my head, wasting away. Is this all there is? I've had to much time to think, written songs that I'll never sing, Watched a town turn love to hate. Split my guts just to be away, this is everything for now.
3.
Ivy Archway 03:03
Is this all that's left? These dreams came true and slowly died. They always said it wouldn't get any worse and I believed every word. I can still remember those late summer nights sitting on the stones across from the clubs in coves with ex-friends and broken bones. It used to be so clear. It used to feel so fucking perfect. We were the stars in a loveless city, throwing our lives away. Is this all that's left? These dreams came true and slowly died. They always said it wouldn't get any worse and I believed every fucking word. It was never meant to end, it was never meant to stop. This is all that's left: broken hearts still beating, Strangled throats still screaming loud. I can still remember those late summer nights sitting on the stones Across from the clubs in coves with ex-friends and broken bones. Sometimes I think it would be easier to fade away, to disconnect and leave everything behind. It was never meant to end, it was never meant to stop. This is all that's left: broken hearts still beating, strangled throats still screaming loud. This is all that's left.
4.
Swallow 02:30
I've tried to tell you so many times but my secrets have pushed me so far way from you. It will never be the same. I wish you understood. Useless thoughts run through my head as I try to explain what I've been holding back. It's never been the same since I moved back home. I've lost control of everything and each day I wait for an end. It's just a matter of time before it all comes crashing down. I've tried to tell you so many times but my secrets have pushed me so far way from you. It will never be the same. I wish you understood. Useless thoughts run through my head as I try to explain what I've been holding back. It's never been the same since I moved back home. I now know it will never be the same.
5.
The last time I saw you, you could barely speak, pale faced in a cold sweat, eyes glazed over on Brighton beach. You said: "its been so long". It seems to me that the brightest were built to fall and rot away. Forget about those friends who cared so much because they're not coming back to pull you out. You're rotting away, unloved and alone. Rotting away. You're so lost within yourself. So far, you've only made things worse, and I know what it's like because I've been there before: forcing smiles in slurred conversation, as their faces turn so bitter and cold. They gave up on you. You gave up on yourself. The brightest light barely glows in the dark. You used to have everything and now you're all alone. So far, you've only made things worse.
6.
20.07.07 01:27
I didn't get to say goodbye, I thought that you would never leave. But now you're gone, I've still got so much left to say. All those years we didn't speak, All those words I should have said. But now you're gone, And there's nothing I can do. It doesn't matter how hard I scream, These songs won't bring you back... Bring you back... bring you back... Bring you back..
7.
8.
This world is Hell and Heaven's a lie. I've lost my faith in all of mankind, out of the blue but so expected it left them feeling so rejected. Crying and screaming but still ignored. Another father walks out the door. Dreams erased and hopes forgotten. Their happy faces have turned to stone. So much pain. "Those familiar feelings will disappear" and that's what they always say but for some it just gets worse. This world is a lie.
9.
Sleepwalking dead, trapped inside a heartbeat, Searching outside of town. Their desperate lonely voices still have nothing to say, were still miles from nowhere with no direction to take. And it's getting harder to see down these broken streets. These are feelings I've never shown, these are the screams you've never heard. This is a song for you and me, another anthem to numb the pain. Sleepwalking dead.
10.
Endless disappointment. Expectations I'll never meet. A crushing view of doubt is keeping me from you. I take the last train home after every mindless fight, Confessing my secrets. Dear friends, there's only one though in my mind: how long will it be until I see you again? Did I say to much or was it not enough? A calendar of guilt, another day crossed off inside my head. I've done it again. Another day spent locked inside. How many times will I fall beneath your voice? The look of your face said everything. Endless disappointment. Expectations I'll never meet. A crushing view of doubt is keeping me from you. How long will it be until I see you again? Did I say to much or was it not enough? A calendar of guilt, another day crossed off inside my head.
11.
I can't sleep in this house, there's a soft tapping sound creeping up from downstairs. A pale light underneath my door. Those sleepless thoughts I can't ignore, a flashing clock at the side of my bed, the silent alarm ringing in my head, a piercing light shines trough my curtain as my head starts to spin. I can't sleep. These images remind me of the days I didn't win so I lie here, restless, as the suns starts to rise but it's still raining inside my head. Another day to fuck up, another sinking feeling inside my chest. The tears roll from my eyes, soaking the sheets beneath me. It's all so out of focus. These dreams will be my end. It's all so out of focus. Something's lost inside, this is the end.
12.
Tent City 03:48
On the road, thirty days alone. These tired nights drives take us further from home. These nights, through the highs and lows. Dark eyed and dreamy with no place to go. Afraid of what's to come. Tomorrow's lights flicker in you heads. These days aren't long enough, we make the most, It's just not long enough. Waking up on cold floors with numb hips and crooked spines. We're breaking through the memories we should have left behind. Crushing thoughts from passing towns, Repeating through our fragile minds. We're breaking through the memories we should have left behind. I don't want to feel this way anymore. This is the only thing picking me up off the floor. I don't want to feel like this anymore. This is the only thing picking me up off the floor. 500 miles and all we're seeing are open spaces. We're breaking through the memories we should have left behind. Waking up on cold floors with numb hips and crooked spines. Crushing thoughts from passing towns, Repeating through our fragile minds. We're breaking through the memories. We're breaking through the memories. 500 miles from home.

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released August 11, 2009

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Bridge Nine Records Boston, Massachusetts

Started in 1995, Bridge Nine is a label that specializes in hardcore punk, with close to 300 recordings in our catalog. Check us out and keep an eye out for updates!

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