Songs to Scream at the Sun

by Have Heart

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released July 8, 2008

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Bridge Nine Records Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: The Same Son
Sisters starving, brothers begging.
Mothers mourning, fathers folding

When I look in the mirror I see:
A boy not a man
The son of a father I refuse to understand
The "brother" of a brother like a wound I neglect
The coward of a sister with the world I forget
The prodigal son, but I am yet to return
From a siege where I take refuge but I want to watch burn
Your lover, your companion, your champion, your friend
Forever by your side but not in the end

The fortunate son who dwells in the city,
With the poorest of the poor, still, I ask for your pity

And while there's a man who sleeps on the ice-cold streets
His godsend not in me, but in his cardboard: his sheets

Yet, I still see the same son.
Track Name: Bostons
Old man, I heard some things about the boy you used to be.
No father, no king, just a broken old man broken by the whiskey.
Too afraid to stay, too smart to not leave,
Too young to be a bird who forgot to sing,
And a ground that never knew the knees
Of a boy and his own tale of two cities.

"Sometimes a man breaks, sometimes he can't bend
When his youth is a wound time won't mend.
(Never the best of times)
Sometimes a man breaks, sometimes he can't bend
At the thought of peace as something only lent.
(Only the worst of mine)
Sometimes a man breaks, sometimes he can't bend
When his son is another one who won't understand":

The Irish temper, it's history's chains,
And the bottle's stain that just won't wash away.
But a seed was planted in the sod,
Of nothingness from which you came,
And flowers grew and roses bloomed
To form this garden of a life you've made.

And in this city you once knew as hell
Is a garden where I enjoy myself.
And in this father I hardly know
Was a son who took back what the bottle stole

So I could be the boy you couldn't be
Have the father you didn't get to see
Have the youth you did not get to live
Or feel the love this world forgot to give.

And for this gift I don't deserve to get
I'll make damn sure I earn this.

"O' your friends say Boston's beautiful,
But they didn't live here, they didn't die here
In the Hyde Park years.
O' your friends say Boston's beautiful,
But they didn't live hard, they didn't die hard
When sons dragged out their fathers from bars.
O' your friends say Boston's beautiful,
But they didn't dream here, they didn't scream here
When no one hears.
O' your friends say Boston's beautiful,
But they didn't hide here, they didn't cry here
When little boys weren't allowed to shed their tears."

There just aren't enough men like you.
Track Name: Pave Paradise
How many miles until I get out of this rectangular box of hell?
Because these four same faces
In these overcrowded spaces
Have me praying for the places
That will leave me one minute to myself
(Along with)
The foreheads glued to window-panes
The sore-backs from kitchen-wood floors
And all the sitting, sitting, sitting in a van -- and yet I still want more?

When there's a million more miles to roam,
I think of the life left for me back home:
A "paradise" to watch their "greener grass" grow,
And all the time to be alone...?

But two weeks home cripple me
Because the trees don't pass
And the lines don't move
As the white walls collapse
On my ramblin' boy blues that's howlin'
Howlin' for that open road because
No arms can hold
No home can warm
Like the gaze of the rays of a distant lost-highway sun.

When there's a million more miles to roam,
I think of the life left for me back home:
A "paradise" to watch their "greener grass" grow,
And all the time to feel alone.

Pave paradise
Put the keys in
Turn the engine
Let the big green van drive me from this city
To anything but simplicity

To anywhere from this city,
To anything but simplicity.
Track Name: On That Bird in the Cage
My girl, my girl, tell me why you look so sad...
Has the sun finally set on us?
Have you come to long for another's hand?
There's a feeling inside me that somethings leaving.
Like someone stealing salt from sea.
Left me sinking and left me thinking
how to keep you caged with me

Because I need you like air to breathe
Just to hold you.
O' I hold you.
O' how I hold you.
I hold you down.

Down with my insecurities
Down with my hypocrisy
Down with my pathetic pleas
Down instead of setting you free
To find your happiness with or without me.

So untie your feat, reattach your wings
So you don't have to open your throat to sing.

Because if it's you I love, then from you...

I'd walk away.

And your face:
On every leaf
Of every branch
Of every tree.
Track Name: Brotherly Love
Left with images of you pouring from my eyes:
You young, you here, day dawning, eyes wide.

Just images, just images
All that's left
All that I can find.

Like water
From a cactus
In the desert of my mind.

Little to big: o' brother, you leave me like blood from my veins.
Big to little: o' brother, you leave me like blood from my veins.

In a room that holds you
Like a guilt-ridden paralyzing cell:

No calls
No mail
No visitors for when you're in hell.

Forced hellos
Rushed goodbyes
And best wishes for you in the meantime

My face seen as often as God's
Can let guilt have its way of owning you
Like a dog.

May to March
March to May
The days fall with the promises I make.

Like water
From a faucet
Into the sink of your faith.

Little to big: o' brother, you leave me like blood from my veins.
Big to little: o' brother, you leave me like blood from my veins.

We always seem to fall with only words to hold
We always seem to fall with only photos to hold
We always seem to fall with only memories to hold
We always seem to fall without family to hold.
Track Name: No Roses, No Skies
She's a song unsung
She's the wild orchid in your ugly swamp
She's a song unsung
And the only white walls of her mind know what that song sounds like

The pills, the pills
And the Dr.'s promises just ain't doing the trick
Cause the arms of nothing she falls asleep in
Can still bring the razor to the wrist

The TV screens, the magazines
Scream at you like the dogs of hell
Advertising and advising you to be
Anyone but your beautiful self

Prince Charming never brought you flowers
Just loveless lifetime alone
No roses for you, just unlocked doors
And the deafening silence of your phone

So block your ears, close your eyes
Remember that you're a golden soul fallen from the
Boring, heartless Hollywood heard of lies that they call:

Beautiful

With no shoulder, no hand, no body, no man, no door,
No heart to let you:

The sun can take too long
To end the endless night

I hear you, I feel you, I bleed with you
When our hearts begin to scream:

This life can feel too long

But at night, you're dancing through the pain
Even when you're the only one
No rose, no sky as full of the beauty of the girl who dies
But rises with every morning's sun
Alone

She dances alone
Alone -- so beautiful
Alone -- her own romance:
Alone -- Lady Lazarus' Life-Sustaining Dance
Track Name: The Taste of the Floor
The taste of the floor reminds me of the skin
That leaves me in oceans of my soul
Without a shore

So alone
So we'll hold
Those barren bodies
Bereft of any soul
To get back what
The "middle of the nights" stole:
The forgetting feeling of feeling whole

But the loneliness
Of our togetherness
Creates an empty nest
For the emptiness
Freezing in this chest

So can you make me feel good?
Make me feel complete?
Help me return to a dream of love
Worth more than
Dirt and meat
Track Name: Hard Bark on the Family Tree
Hard bark on the family tree
October leaves on Massachusetts' trees.

A sight so fleetingly free

Just how October leaves
Just how October leaves
Just how October leaves
Me

On fire with the maple trees,
On my knees with these leaves on these Boston streets,
Praying to a god a godforsaken summer night stole
(One night), one fight, one family swallowed whole.

Some things just fall apart
Some families stand like November trees: barren and stark.
Some things just fall apart
Some memories continue breaking this cold heart

And some sons have a hard time
Looking at things the same
Looking in their father's eyes
When both their heads hang in shame

Highways home become oceans
That I just can't swim
And the rusty gates of Eden lock
To never let me in.

Let me in

Oceans of emotions we've got to swim

Well I open my eyes
I can't see that family
I can't see that home

So I'll just keep them closed

Outside the door with these open arms,
With the warmth of the maple tree.

If these trees can't replaces these scars
Then let their leaves just bury me

Let their leaves just bury me.
Track Name: The Same Sun
"Son, did you stare too long in front of that mirror?
did it break when your conscience didn't get any clearer
with the stomach you'll fill with all the food you eat
and lack of pain you feel for the eyes that weep
outside your windowsill of the castle where you sleep?

Has the sun stopped shining upon the crown you hang?
has your love and your hate started to feel the same?
did that leave you feeling empty, feeling sick,
feeling as empty as a child's stomach?

As alone and forsaken as you'd like to be
there are shoreless miseries of oceans, not seas
while you wallow and wait in your tower of ivory
your sister is starving, your brother is begging

Your sisters are starving, your brothers are begging
your mothers are mourning, your fathers are folding

Unseen, unsung -- under the same sun

Wake up, look up, there's a warmth up there
a reminder of peace, a reason to care

A reason to care

Wake up, look up, that's something you share

There's more to life than the boy in that mirror...

Wake up, wake up, wake up."

...from the depths of this hell:
where the free are slaves,
no difference between the cowards and brave,
where our love and hate have become the same,
it's time that we "unbecame"...

Where the ears are deaf, and tongues too dry
where the arms don't hold, and seeing eyes go blind

Where nothing is everything
and everything is nothing:

"Arise-my soul, and sing."